...because every time I think...

If you ever have doubt, have faith. If you have any despair, have hope. If you ever get lost...

These things and more as I told the world, I understood what little I knew. I knew little of what the world was feeding me concerning what is being given and not taken.

To say it is a beautiful gesture is an understatement because these things have often been what I have believed in and I had ingrained in the very essence of my ideas. As depressing as it is in the head of a maniacally depressed person I hold fast to these truths of my principles.

• In a relationship, a hand raised against your love is not to love but an abuse. The real insult that creates an illusion of where one will raise a hand on one another is not deemed to be in a relationship in the first place as it is a commitment that started out with a friendly conversation that led into a more in-depth and profound approach to staying with that person. There is always the front door for those whose intentions will raise such awareness. However, to falsely acclaim there will be violence enacted even such was never produced merely is disheartening on another person's part.
• If the cards are on the table, then why hide them again? As discussed by a classmate, to hide something even though it was already produced once shows immaturity. Because why hide something when we are opening our walls and letting it crumble to the ground. 
• As discussed from the previous entry, it is hard to open the doors when there is a demand for such currency like loyalty. To say reliability is outstanding but only to run away behind their back, create the illusion there is a problem, and to vanish...where was loyalty in all these things? There is not any shred of that ever existing because as mentioned, "Those who claim, are the least to have it..." It's not easy because it took years for me to be mentored only to break that trust. 
• "I will always have your back," is misconstrued and can be misused as if it is a lie, but I do have your back
• When you need me
• When you feel overwhelmed
• When you just need someone to talk to 
• When you are down and out
• Whenever, wherever, and however the circumstances are in your life I will hold you firm.
• Communication, the very aspect of which our day culminates into a full-blown review of what happened, is happening and will happen. Visiting a university nearly eight years ago, I remembered this couple, both were blind and mute. They had developed a sophisticated but amazingly profound form of communication. Mute and blind they were but fingers, and their body language spoke far more volumes than a couple who are neither or. Love transcends, and if ever doubt it, a man who plans for their love while on their deathbed is not only a selfless lover but a lover that loves genuinely.
• Question insecurity as if it was a lost password. The stupid brain thinks of everything, but really, the reality is a cruel, fickle pickle. 
• Damaged goods? Broken? Past mistakes? What are those behind your eyes? Mistakes? You're treasure, I'll fix you, and it's all in the past. Behind those eyes are our shadows. If I chose you, it's not a mistake, but it's a choice I had decided the moment I locked my eyes on you.
• My friends have a way of communicating with me. They will never feel neglected when I am with you as it is crucial that I have someone like you in my life it's not just a matter of pride but flattery that someone as unique as you have come. We deserve happiness as it is not something to be demanded but earned through the effort of a beautiful relationship. As much as their opinions or judgment are valued, I will hold myself fully accountable in knowing what I think is right or wrong. I am in a relationship with you and not them. 
• The unstoppable force meets the immovable object and time is immutable, but when something that does not move is achieved with something that keeps pushing it will find a way to break free, and with time it will change the course of its trajectory. 
• Between a castle of sand and of the sky, I choose to live in neither as it is within these four walls and a roof that there is something worth building a foundation from. In degrees of a relationship, we start to go with the windows that create a sense of looking forward into the future. From there we could go with the doors that open to tomorrow, stairs that will take us from up and down, and the colors that vividly illustrate our dreams to a tomorrow only we can see is ours.
• Critics will criticize, haters will hate, but darling, this depressed mind, though broken and battered in so many places know what it means to be a fighter. No one should ever mind our business as it is ours alone and their position is not needed though appreciated to some degree but it is ours, not theirs. 
• Never will you be on a pedestal. Should I look you up on high is not going to happen as you stand equally in front of me! 
• Just be you as it is when we first met. For what is redefined in a relationship is how we see each other different from everyone else. 

Grown tired the mind has become, battered are the emotions, and my writing though idealistic in paper and pen this is how I had lived my life. Control is powerful but is also an illusion as it is in showing the restraint that knows you have discipline. Depressing as it goes in and out the demons have been fighting. To fall in love with insecurities is a beautiful feeling because half of the battle lies in knowing they ought to be loved harder. They know they have gone through their hell and back. 

So whoever finds this, it's all I wanted to let you know and everything in between is not written because there is nothing there I want to ask of you but just to be you.