Eric Church - Springsteen
To this day I don't know why but the way she said things about who she wants in her life is pretty much what I ask for anyone. I accept anyone who comes in my life, and I don't want to make any excuses that aren't all true. I accepted you for you. I didn't mind if you were damaged goods, I didn't come from a perfect household. I made mistakes. I didn't mind if you had baggage, e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e has theirs. I took you in by every pound of flesh you have and every inch of mistake you make because I saw you as the very person of you. There are no versions of you that would make me any different. Being human, there is a chance to give in to the idea that sometimes we are bound to make mistakes.If you are reading this, and the mistakes were made clear already then I don't have anything else to say any more about keeping it going. Surely you must know by now I don't expose my music tastes, but I have been opening up to different genres to name a few such as country. Though my taste with country music has been running deep since Bob Dylan, Elvis Presley, and Johnny Cash's time modern has its way of making their way to my vein.
If you are reading this and I am gone, please don't ask what happened. I am confident it would give comfort that I disappeared, right? Today, I looked at the edge again, and I was satisfied I was ready to jump too. In fact, it felt like it was the moment I was prepared to dive a cliff that I was looking from the blue sky falling so slowly into the ground I was gone for good.
Compartmentalize the memories but still just a memory. Take a listen to those songs, and you tell me. Calling me names, my attitude or anything is not going to work. I was told today to not fall in love with someone else, and I convinced that person I am not interested so stop bringing that up. I am broken into pieces as it is and falling in love, that adds insult to the injury of being cut up thousand times already.
Two more songs too to listen to the understanding of how I feel when the feeling comes swelling up also. Both sang by the same singer, and it is up to interpretation here, and I think you and I could relate to it. We are detached in feeling and emotion of each other, but it's ironic now how I feel about this song with you in it. Honestly, I don't want to anymore in this condition also because I really and I don't want to but this song makes me cry once in a blue moon. I don't know how to feel sorry for these kinds of things. I do think about you once in a glancing moment, and then I turn to see you are not there. I look at the phone hoping it would ring blocked or not, but I somehow would pick it up.
I have put these things to bed, every night and then I would wake up dreaming you are still in it. I want to know why but again I don't because I know it hurts. Learning the truth of being subjected to never knowing you were hurting as it was unforgiving because walking away from my back was one way to know it was never going to work. Describing my actions as some kind of monstrosity to your world is well within your understanding that we are not going to meet, ever. That was as clear as it was going to get. Do you ever know how many people's lives I have met and the smiles I have given them impacted on how their day was? Surely you must not care, after all, you still see me as a monster. I am not a human being to you anymore. Saying you are scared of me, is natural because that's what monsters are in their resume do. They scare people. You see me a villain in your eyes because you think raising my hand against you would do it. It's what broke me, it's what truly left me scarred, and it's what will never go away until I am gone for good.
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