College Part 3

That was not all what college had brought me.
I haven’t even brought out our football games.

Believe it or not our mascot was a…platypus…
and we were called The Flapping Platypi!

I winced every now and then to think of our mascot.
I wince to each moment that the poor animal
got tackled a few times but it stood back up.

Our team was number one in the nation with
our coach Mark Harmon kept us going for
years with his head-slapping, no nonsense,
and sheer determination as our coach every season.

Of course those four years we had a great
quarterback, line back and receiver.
It was Oded Fehr, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Liev Schrieber
respectively but those guys belonged in a different league.

I mean we also had a soccer team, again
undefeated coached by well… David Beckham.

Then there was a swimming team, no,
it’s not who you think is our coach but it was
actually Kevin Costner whose rumor had it that
he drank his piss every now and then as a sign of good luck
before a meet with the other schools.

I mean they also had great cheerleaders
oh no doubt they went national and became
professional cheerleaders around football games.


The head was actually Kristin Stewart as she
hung out with Kiera Knightley, Jennifer Lawrence
and Zoe Saldana.